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In my last post, I promised more examples of detachment. Here they are, for your viewing pleasure. Keep in mind that there are a variety of ways each scenario could play out and that I have only offered a few. I hope that what I describe below gives you a
I my last post, I talked about the ways we cause our own suffering through things we get attached to. Attachments are severe impediments to a life of serenity, power, and freedom. So, one of the goals of living a meaningful, bazooka-proof life is practicing detachment. Link to Part 1
In their attempt to assist us on our journey to freedom, mystical traditions teach that the source of human suffering is attachment. The goal is freedom, the obstacle is attachment, and the byproduct of attachment is suffering. Most of us know what suffering is. We all experience it to some
For many, learning to set boundaries does not initially feel empowering. It feels mean. Selfish. Unsafe. Cruel. Guilt-inducing. Not because your boundaries are bad or wrong… but because somewhere along the way, you learned that your role in relationships was to manage other people’s feelings. To smooth things over. Prevent disappointment. Avoid
Have you ever been told to “just be yourself?” For people with Complex PTSD, it’s not that simple. Because, how do you do that when you’re not so sure? The real you is in there, but it’s buried beneath the things you had to do to survive. Like: ✔️ Avoiding
PERSONAL POWER is knowing that you have the right to… Think what you think Feel what you feel Want what you want Need what you need Be who you are First, you must know, and then you must act on your knowing. Unfortunately, many of us start our healing journey
“In the world, there are only two kinds of people – those who know and those who do not not know, and this knowledge is the thing which matters.” –J. Krishnamurti The knowing Krishnamurti is referring to is not intellectual. It is intuitive. You can “know” a lot of things
Do you like it when someone tries to control you? Or seems to scold, blame, manipulate, or shame you? Doubtful. But… have you ever paid attention to see if you do these to others? Controlling, scolding, blaming, shaming, and similar actions such as criticizing, complaining, being cynical or sarcastic, and
Wouldn’t it be nice if we could all just get along? Be kind, gentle, and generous with each other? The world seems increasingly divided and intent on being “against.” How do we turn things around? There are qualifications we must achieve on the journey to higher awareness, all of which
Have you ever noticed how much you fight with life? How much you resist what’s happening? How much you need to control? If you think you are innocent of those charges, think again, and look for the following clues: anger, irritation, frustration, blame, jealousy, resentment, resistance, even denial, to name
My New Book is Here! The Gospel of Matthew: Its Mystical Interpretation and Messages by Shirley Chambers and Patty Binns Farinola http://www.karinkabalahcenter.com/books/ Exciting news! My new book has been published. I have been focused on writing and preparing this book for publication for some time now, though I will add
This article is a follow-up to the No Complaints message. As promised, here is a tool to help you get out of the complaint cycle. First, remember that complaining comes from a sense of powerlessness. When in power, there is no need to complain, there is only the next right
What would life be like if you had nothing to complain about? Pretty amazing, right? Most of us have problems that cause some grief, and life can throw some interesting challenges our way. Complaining about them is an indication that we are looking for someone or something to rescue us.
“The word ‘happy’ would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness.” — Carl Jung Have you ever wondered why there are so many quotes, posters, articles and books focused on the pursuit of happiness, yet so many people still in search of it? Perhaps this is because
Does your family drive you crazy sometimes? Does the holiday season make it worse? For many, the season usually means more time with family. Holiday gatherings are typically portrayed as happy times filled with laughter and love. But what if your experience doesn’t meet those ideals? What if the love
“The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.” – George Bernard Shaw Conversations go well – or not – depending on Four Ts: tone, timing, topic, total. With co-workers, bosses, family, friends, and especially significant others, these things can make or break. They either
No one intentionally tries to fail, but many unconsciously sabotage their happiness and success. It is easy to see obvious ways we do this, such as doing our job poorly, showing up late or not at all, struggling with addiction to drugs/alcohol, and relationship infidelity. However, covert sabotage slips under
I recently saw a short video of Steve Jobs that was going around LinkedIn. Jobs said most people don’t get what they want because they never ask. He said that asking was the basis of his own success, and it is what separates the people who do things from those
There is a lot of talk these days about personal power. Given society’s emphasis on success and material gain, power is often considered to be the ability to get ahead, make money, achieve a goal, etc. Mostly our interpretation is business-based or success-based. Today, I offer a broader interpretation: true
When you look at the craziness of the world, do you ever think, “It doesn’t need to be this way!”? Do you sometimes feel pummeled by the chaos of current events? We are living in a time of much upheaval. This is symbolic of great change. Negativity/darkness is rising to
“Love means never having to say you’re sorry.” Who remembers that one? I hope you’ve figured out by now: it’s not true. If you think back to my last article about basket weaving women and basketball playing men, you’ll understand when I say that men and women relate to “Sorry”
I was working with a client recently who was expressing concerns about things not going as well with her boss as she would like. His approach was upsetting her. As she described his behavior, I saw that it was simply a male-female disconnect. I call this the X-Y Factor. We
One of my marvelous mentors has a interesting way of describing mental health using an analogy of cats and dogs. I think you’ll appreciate it. We all know dogs. In general, friendly, cute, and gluttons for attention and affection. Their focus turns quickly to the person providing those things. We
How can I fix this problem? How can I make the issue (the pain) go away? Tell me what to do! These are common questions I hear from clients who have identified something they want to change, such as bad habits, core patterns, or unconscious fears. “Now that I see
With Valentine’s Day on the way, I thought it would be interesting to discuss matters of the heart. Valentine’s is traditionally about the celebration of romantic love, a wonderful human kind of love. Today, I wish to give this celebration new meaning by looking at it from a different angle,
[[Warning! This is not a warm and fuzzy post. There will be some of you who don’t like what I have to say. I understand. For the rest of you, I hope to inspire. It’s time to get serious about ourselves.]] ——- It is impossible to ignore the upheaval that
Analogy: A guy is walking down a dark street at night. He spies an object in the middle of the road. He screams, “snake!” and runs away. Another person comes along behind him with a flashlight. He shines a light on the object and sees that it is just a
Thought for the day, aka Patty’s Perspective About The Planet: I met with a client yesterday who has been working with me for almost seven years. Being with her reminded me of the importance of PERSISTENCE and DETERMINATION. When she first came to see me, she had low self-esteem, her
We teach others how to be with us. Our behaviors and words are cues as to how we want to be treated and what we are willing to put up with. We communicate energetically as well. Whether behavioral, verbal, or energetic, our unconscious patterns attract certain treatment without our
It’s pretty amazing: 2016 marks the 240th anniversary of having declared ourselves a liberated nation, free from the tyranny and oppression of monarchical rule. 240! Wow, right?!! As a nation, it is true, we have a substantial amount of freedom. What about as individuals? The individual freedom I’m talking
We were taught as children to obey our elders and to not “talk back.” Where I grew up, it was called “sassing,” and we got in big trouble for it. This may be a reason why we have such a tough time dealing with our inner demons. Once we give
I had the honor of officiating a wedding recently. It was lovely, and witnessing the ceremony was a reminder of how significant this particular activity is. I also see how applicable it is to other parts of our lives. Yes, it applies in the union of two people in holy
Have you ever reorganized a closet or done some serious spring cleaning? Then you know that things get messy before they get better. Well, I think that’s what’s going on in the world today, and this isn’t a small re-org that’s happening. Life is pretty crazy, and many of us
Is the AIRR you breathe pure or polluted? As you well know, our thoughts and feelings create the environment we live in, both internally and externally. Some ways in which we pollute ourselves: Anger is considered to be a secondary emotion. It is an instinctual reaction designed to “protect” us
Three things that can nurture, support, and/or transform any relationship – three things most of us need a more of – are Attention, Affection, and Appreciation. While always true in romantic relationships, the Three A’s can be helpful in any situation involving a fellow human being. In today’s fast-paced, chaotic,
If you could choose one word to represent your focus/wishes/goals for next year, what would it be? Borrowing this clever idea from one of my fabulous clients, I want to recommend an alternative to the traditional New Year’s Resolution. Consider that resolutions are about doing. Word is about being, about
I have some questions for you. Do you like to be controlled by other people, manipulated to do or say things you don’t want to do? Does it feel good when someone tries to force you into something that’s not right or welcomed, or bully you into doing things their
You’ve heard me talk about inner strength a lot over the years. This is because I see it as: the foundation for serenity, power and freedom, the source of feeling good about ourselves and getting along well with others the basis for having a solid sense of belonging and purpose
August is that time of year when children are going back to school and we are heading into the activities of fall and winter. It is a good opportunity to regroup and make sure we’re paying attention to the things that support our inner peace. Here is a reminder of
Have you noticed? You can’t force change. Whether it’s in yourself, in your life, or with others, true change cannot be forced. It can only be invited, and that invitation starts by changing your insides. Insanity Until we learn this fundamental truth, most people try to coerce, cajole, control, and
How often do your feelings get hurt by something someone says or does (even someone you don’t know)? In order to live in joy, we must stop taking things personally. It is easy to observe when we do it in our close relationships, but did you know that there are
Continuing the conversation about fooling ourselves, it is important to remember: we are not our physical body, we are not our thinking, we are not our feelings. Sometimes we forget this. But to legitimately have serenity, power, and freedom in life, we must not only know this truth, we must
When we don’t know who we really are, we are identified with a false sense of self. That false identity filters our experiences, thoughts, actions, etc. and gives us inaccurate feedback. Because of this, we see things incorrectly – not as they are, but as we want them to be
“Being in relationship is like putting Miracle-Gro on your character defects.” Great quote, isn’t it? I heard it many years ago and still find it to be Oh.. So.. True. And, I think there is a good reason for this. If we are meant to be the biggest and
You can’t have that ice cream sundae with whipped cream and a cherry on top if you don’t have a bowl to put it in. That’s pretty obvious. What’s not so obvious is that this is true on many, many levels. Experience shows that most people who win the lottery
Ok, I’m going to be corny here. I’m going to suggest something a little silly – to make you think. We just started the New Year, and most people will have either made or avoided making resolutions. Usually, these are related to physical, external, or feel-good things, such as losing
Wonder why you get so crazy sometimes? Overwhelmed, pissed off, hyped up, shut down, out of control? Emotionally reactive, self doubting, insecure, over-eating-drinking-spending-whatever? Guess what. It’s not your fault. But it IS your responsibility. We come into this lifetime with a consciousness that’s been programmed through countless experiences in a
Are there things you do in excess? Have you tried to “quit” but haven’t managed to yet? Such as: overeating, over-drinking, overworking, over-doing. I see this a lot in my counseling practice, and I have some ways to help with this pattern of imbalance. One of the awareness tools I
One of the reasons we have such a strong yearning to search for life purpose is that deep inside we KNOW that there is an ultimate destiny for us, and that if we could find it we would be forever filled with joy. This destiny is closer than we realize.
Do you have the experience of time flying, of having less time to do what there is to do? Have you felt a sense of unexplained anxiety or sadness recently? Are you experiencing unusual physical aches and pains, or heart palpitations? You’re not alone. I was talking to a colleague
Abraham Maslov once said, “One can choose to go backward toward safety or forward toward growth. Growth must be chosen again and again; fear must be overcome again and again.” We are connected with a Higher Power that is itself moving forward, constantly growing and evolving. Because of that, our
Every time I look at the news, I see so much violence. On our streets, in our homes, across the globe. War, murder, rioting, and more. We live in very chaotic times, unfortunately. But if you ask around, most would agree that we all want the same thing: peace, brotherhood,
There is a difference between emotional needs and spiritual (soul) needs. Sometimes they are aligned with each other, but more often than not, they are in conflict. Emotional needs are things like: comfort, security, peace, connection, approval, accomplishment Soul needs are things like: growth, self-expression, making a difference for others
I had to heed my own advice this week! Why was I surprised? Comfort-seeking is part of our animal nature. It’s a good thing because it keeps us motivated and moving forward. It becomes a not-good thing when we come to expect it, when we have the need to
I came across a great quote recently. “When you are interested in something you do what’s convenient, when you are committed to something, you do whatever it takes”. What a great reminder! How many times do we think we’re committed to find that really we are only just interested? And
I used to think that noticing was enough. I was a proponent of “your power is in your ability to notice.” But now, as I have grown, my truth has changed. I have come to believe that a next step (or steps) must be taken. Noticing is just seeing. Observation.
I just read this quote. Had to post it. “In view of the fact that a potential of beautiful energy has been given to each person, it is difficult to conceive how contrarily people have dealt with this great gift.” –M. Morya Life, our beautiful energy, is such a gift!
Another fear that stops us in our tracks is FEAR OF SORROW. Sorrow is a spiritual term used for the emptiness that comes after a big experience, after a disappointment, or when it’s time for change. It is a very rich and spiritual space, but most people are afraid of
One big, obvious, fear that stops people from moving forward, growing, and living life fully is Fear of Failure. Why are we so afraid of failing? What’s the big deal? I think there are a number of aspects to this issue, but it seems that underneath it all is a
Being Bazooka-Proof is about as free as one human being can get: total and complete freedom, confidence, solidity of character, full self-realization, individuation, and an inner peace that can’t be shaken. This state of being comes from the Higher Self, that part of us that knows who we are, our
Sometimes life is really complicated, in this case it’s really simple. When it all boils down, you have two choices in life: fear or freedom. Fear comes from a couple of places: 1) our animal, instinctual nature and 2) our inner distortions aka the false self. Freedom comes from knowing
Patty Binns Farinola
The Awareness Studio
2751 Buford Hwy, Suite 700, Brookhaven, GA 30324
Patty@TheAwarenessStudio.com
404-271-6297
Office Hours: Tuesday through Saturday