Non-condemnation

Wouldn’t it be nice if we could all just get along? Be kind, gentle, and generous with each other? The world seems increasingly divided and intent on being “against.” How do we turn things around?

There are qualifications we must achieve on the journey to higher awareness, all of which help make the world a better place. Today’s qualification: non-condemnation. Hear me out.

This one is found in the Agni Yoga book, Hierarchy:

“The fourth sign will be non-condemnation, because he who strives into the future has no time to occupy himself with the refuse of yesterday.”

Political divisions, gender-directed offenses, race-based violence, etc. – the interpersonal difficulties we are experiencing these days are disheartening if not devastating, and they are happening all too often. They are evidence of condemnation and the destructive behaviors resulting from this vice.

Non-condemnation is a rare commodity. Notice how much we criticize, rebuke, blame, shame, put down, make wrong, and chastise ourselves and others. Notice all the condemnation being thrown around, and how often “other” is turned into “enemy.”

Non-condemnation:

  • To be clear, is not condoning or approving.
  • Is detached (choiceless) awareness.
  • Would say something like, “This is not ok,” but from a non-emotional
  • Might also say, “I’m going to do something about it,” and then,
  • Its actions are guided by wisdom and higher awareness.

Condemnation, on the other hand:

  • Comes with feelings such as upset, anger, hatred, resentment, and resistance.
  • Is a victim reaction to a perceived injustice, or a prideful criticism of someone or something seen as less-than.
  • Results in actions that are outward physical or verbal altercations of some kind, or the internal emotional negativity listed above.
  • Is not helpful or productive. In fact, it makes things worse.

 

We would not have the need to condemn others
if we were not already condemning ourselves.

 

BOTTOM LINE: we would not have the need to condemn others if we were not already condemning ourselves. And we would not have the need to condemn ourselves if core and reactive fears were not running rampant in consciousness. Sometimes we are aware of these fears, but mostly we are not. And yet, we still act on them.

Condemnation stems from the need to control, which is a form of comfort-seeking and fear-avoidance. It stems from the upset we feel when our preferences do not win. When there is little or no self-certainty, we have a great need to win. We have a great need for our preferences, needs, wants, values, etc. to be fulfilled. And, we have a great need to be right. This is all fear-based.

 

We feel upset when our preferences do not win.

 

Consider this: you may be condemning without knowing it. One example: cursing. F*** this, d*mn (or GD) that, sh**, cr*p, a**hole, and more. Cursing is often a condemnation. It does not matter whether it is toward an inanimate object, another person, a news article, or what have you, your reaction goes out to the universe. Your emotions add fuel to the fire. They feed the collective upset. Same goes for complaining, by the way.

Non-condemnation has the potential to create lasting change for a brighter future, whereas condemnation keeps the cycle, the “refuse of yesterday,” in place. In Couples Coaching Couples, this is known as a Couple Dance. Globally, we are in many Couple Dances.

If you truly believe that “everything happens for a reason,” then you understand there is a positive side to  the difficult things that are happening, even if merely as wake-up calls. What is good for the soul, consciousness, can be painful for mankind. Spiritual adults with high EQs are able to see that, able to see all sides of any condition, situation, or concept. Today’s political, racial, and gender environments show us just how far off the mark we are, as a collective.

Criticism, condemnation, intolerance, disapproval, bigotry, judgmentalness. Whatever you call it, if we are to have beauty, balance, and harmony in the world, we must each find a way to conquer this beast.

The good news is this is an easy one to spot. Striving for your own non-condemnation is a vehicle for driving out unconscious fears and increasing personal power. This provides the means for moving beyond unconscious fear into the profound freedom that comes with having reached evolutionary maturity. As more and more individuals accomplish this, the collective will shift.

 

 

Examples

Non-condemnation can be confusing when you are accustomed to expressing the opposite. It can seem passive, but it is not. Only when you rise above emotionalism can you access intuition and wisdom to respond from a place of power rather than reacting from weakness.

Two examples of the power of non-condemnation, or detached (choiceless) awareness, are found in Eckhart Tolle’s book, A New Earth. (emphasis mine)

The first is related to the quote by J Krishnamurti: “I don’t mind what happens. That is the essence of inner freedom.”

TOLLE: When I don’t mind what happens, what does that imply? It implies that internally I am in alignment with what happens. “What happens,” of course, refers to the suchness of this moment, which always already is as it is. It refers to content, the form that this moment – the only moment there ever is – takes. To be in alignment with what is means to be in a relationship of inner nonresistance with what happens. It means not to label it mentally as good or bad, but to let it be. Does this mean you can no longer take action to bring about change in your life? On the contrary. When the basis for your actions is inner alignment with the present moment, your actions become empowered by the intelligence of Life itself.

The other example is related to the story of a man who has been falsely accused, yet able to stay in a detached place of non-condemnation:

TOLLE: He allows the form of the moment, good or bad, to be as it is and so does not become a participant in human drama. To him there is only this moment, and this moment is as it is. Events are not personalized. He is nobody’s victim. He is so completely at one with what happens that what happens has no power over him anymore. Only if you resist what happens are you at the mercy of what happens, and the world will determine your happiness and unhappiness. … Bad turns into good through the power of nonresistance.

And, finally, a quote for your consideration: “If you hate a person, then you are defeated by them.” – Confucius

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