Those Who Know, and Those Who Don’t

“In the world, there are only two kinds of people – those who know and those who do not not know, and this knowledge is the thing which matters.” –J. Krishnamurti The knowing Krishnamurti is referring to is not intellectual. It is intuitive. You can “know” a lot of things intellectually and still be unhappy, […]

Enroll, Don’t Control

Do you like it when someone tries to control you? Or seems to scold, blame, manipulate, or shame you? Doubtful. But… have you ever paid attention to see if you do these to others? Controlling, scolding, blaming, shaming, and similar actions such as criticizing, complaining, being cynical or sarcastic, and even teasing can cause conflict […]


Wouldn’t it be nice if we could all just get along? Be kind, gentle, and generous with each other? The world seems increasingly divided and intent on being “against.” How do we turn things around? There are qualifications we must achieve on the journey to higher awareness, all of which help make the world a […]

Frustration -or- Appreciation

Have you ever noticed how much you fight with life? How much you resist what’s happening? How much you need to control? If you think you are innocent of those charges, think again, and look for the following clues: anger, irritation, frustration, blame, jealousy, resentment, resistance, even denial, to name a few. We get upset […]

New Book

My New Book is Here! The Gospel of Matthew: Its Mystical Interpretation and Messages by Shirley Chambers and Patty Binns Farinola http://www.karinkabalahcenter.com/books/ Exciting news! My new book has been published. I have been focused on writing and preparing this book for publication for some time now, though I will add that I have spent the […]

Complaint to Power

This article is a follow-up to the No Complaints message. As promised, here is a tool to help you get out of the complaint cycle. First, remember that complaining comes from a sense of powerlessness. When in power, there is no need to complain, there is only the next right action to take. We gripe […]

No Complaints

What would life be like if you had nothing to complain about? Pretty amazing, right? Most of us have problems that cause some grief, and life can throw some interesting challenges our way. Complaining about them is an indication that we are looking for someone or something to rescue us. But! What if we can […]

Stop Trying to Be Happy!

“The word ‘happy’ would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness.” — Carl Jung Have you ever wondered why there are so many quotes, posters, articles and books focused on the pursuit of happiness, yet so many people still in search of it? Perhaps this is because happiness is not the answer. […]

Help for the Holiday Crazies – December 2018

Does your family drive you crazy sometimes? Does the holiday season make it worse? For many, the season usually means more time with family. Holiday gatherings are typically portrayed as happy times filled with laughter and love. But what if your experience doesn’t meet those ideals?  What if the love you feel for your family […]

4T Communication

“The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.” – George Bernard Shaw Conversations go well – or not – depending on Four Ts: tone, timing, topic, total. With co-workers, bosses, family, friends, and especially significant others, these things can make or break. They either bring you together, OR, kill […]

Get Out of Your Own Way: Dealing with Covert Self-Sabotage

No one intentionally tries to fail, but many unconsciously sabotage their happiness and success. It is easy to see obvious ways we do this, such as doing our job poorly, showing up late or not at all, struggling with addiction to drugs/alcohol, and relationship infidelity. However, covert sabotage slips under the radar and causes just […]

GOBOM: A Winning Strategy

I recently saw a short video of Steve Jobs that was going around LinkedIn. Jobs said most people don’t get what they want because they never ask. He said that asking was the basis of his own success, and it is what separates the people who do things from those who just dream about them. […]

Personal Power

There is a lot of talk these days about personal power. Given society’s emphasis on success and material gain, power is often considered to be the ability to get ahead, make money, achieve a goal, etc. Mostly our interpretation is business-based or success-based. Today, I offer a broader interpretation: true power is based in the […]

The Problem with Power

When you look at the craziness of the world, do you ever think, “It doesn’t need to be this way!”?  Do you sometimes feel pummeled by the chaos of current events? We are living in a time of much upheaval. This is symbolic of great change. Negativity/darkness is rising to the surface for the purpose […]

A Tale of Two Sorries

“Love means never having to say you’re sorry.” Who remembers that one? I hope you’ve figured out by now: it’s not true. If you think back to my last article about basket weaving women and basketball playing men, you’ll understand when I say that men and women relate to “Sorry” in very different ways. Mistakes […]

Basketball and Basket Weaving

I was working with a client recently who was expressing concerns about things not going as well with her boss as she would like. His approach was upsetting her. As she described his behavior, I saw that it was simply a male-female disconnect. I call this the X-Y Factor. We know that men and women […]

Cats and dogs

One of my marvelous mentors has a interesting way of describing mental health using an analogy of cats and dogs. I think you’ll appreciate it. We all know dogs. In general, friendly, cute, and gluttons for attention and affection. Their focus turns quickly to the person providing those things. We have a lot of control […]

Power to Change

How can I fix this problem? How can I make the issue (the pain) go away? Tell me what to do! These are common questions I hear from clients who have identified something they want to change, such as bad habits, core patterns, or unconscious fears. “Now that I see it,” they ask, “how can […]


With Valentine’s Day on the way, I thought it would be interesting to discuss matters of the heart. Valentine’s is traditionally about the celebration of romantic love, a wonderful human kind of love. Today, I wish to give this celebration new meaning by looking at it from a different angle, that of higher love, and […]

BE The Change

[[Warning! This is not a warm and fuzzy post. There will be some of you who don’t like what I have to say. I understand. For the rest of you, I hope to inspire. It’s time to get serious about ourselves.]] ——- It is impossible to ignore the upheaval that is plaguing our country right […]