Being in relationship is like putting Miracle-Gro on your character defects.”

Great quote, isn’t it? I heard it many years ago and still find it to be Oh.. So.. True. And, I think there is a good reason for this.

If we are meant to be the biggest and best we can be, if we’re meant to live into our fullest and most powerful potential, then how are we to do that? By developing the positive and getting rid of the negative. One of the best ways to do this is in relationship.

Instead of the term “character defects,” I prefer to say “misuse of power.” Some examples:

  • When we don’t speak up for ourselves to ask for what we need, and instead stew quietly in our resentment, that’s misuse of power.
  • When we engage in people-pleasing in order to gain approval from others, instead of behaving authentically and standing in our truth (yes, even at the risk of being disliked, rejected, or criticized), that’s misuse of power.
  • When we let our jealousies and insecurities interfere with our peace of mind, instead of being responsible for creating our own great life, … misuse of power.
  • When we take things personally and get stuck in hurt feelings, instead of laughter, curiosity, and self-awareness, … misuse of power.


The beauty of relationships – whether at work, at home, or elsewhere – is that they show us where we have opportunities to grow: to strengthen our gifts, and to take our power back so that it can be used for beneficial purposes instead of self-sabotage, self-destruction, and injury to others. Too much of the negative, and we get things like divorce, loss of friendships, and problems and chaos at work.

We misuse our power when we’re not in touch with the certainty of who we really are. The good news is that our issues in relationships can guide us to that knowing if we let it.

By observing our negative traits, aka character defects, aka misuse of power, and making the effort to turn the negative into a positive, we can let life lead us to our strengths, virtues, assets, and gifts. Then and only then can we be the best that we can be, living into our fullest and most powerful potential.

That’s when you turn Miracle-Gro into Making Miracles Grow!


For a checklist of flaws and assets, click here: Pos-Neg Qualities Assessment

For a program to help you get to self-certainty: Serenity, Power, and Freedom