When we don’t know who we really are, we are identified with a false sense of self. That false identity filters our experiences, thoughts, actions, etc. and gives us inaccurate feedback. Because of this, we see things incorrectly – not as they are, but as we want them to be – because we need to see them a certain way. In other words, we fool ourselves. This is known as the veil of karma.
Our false identity causes us to behave in ways that are not aligned with our Spirit and to believe things that are not true. When we act according to those untruths, we come from wrong intent and we create painful learning experiences. In other words, we are veiled by our unawareness, and that creates karma.
In one situation, there’s a woman who has no idea how afraid she is – afraid of other people, afraid of getting hurt, afraid of failing, afraid of being known. The story she tells herself is that she is intimidating to others. She thinks others are afraid of her because she’s tall, smart, and has a great job, when the truth is that she is the one who is afraid of them. The feedback she gets from men is that they’re not interested in dating her, and the feedback she gets from her boss and others at work is that she needs to be stronger and more assertive. The problem is, she is not able to hear this important input through the density of her false identity. There is one person in her life who tells her that she is intimidating to others. Who do you think she’s listening to? Notice how we collect evidence for whatever it is we want to believe!
When someone is that disconnected from their true self, you can bet that many relationship mistakes will be made, and almost everything will be done with wrong intent.
Another example. This woman has an ex who makes her out to be the bad guy. She says she knows she isn’t the bad guy, but her behavior demonstrates otherwise. She spends a lot of energy trying to show him, prove to him, convince him that she’s not the problem. She recently realized that by the very act of trying to prove and convince, she was showing that she did not, in fact, believe herself.
Her unconscious still acted as though she were the problem, in spite of her conscious belief to the contrary. What freedom she experienced when she realized this! She let go of the attachment: the need to have her ex think she was ok. She can now live according to a new truth.
When this woman was trying to show she was a good person, she was doing the right thing for the wrong reason. It is the right thing to be good and ethical and integrous and nice, no matter with whom we are interacting. However, it is with wrong intent to do this in order to prove something, or make someone like us. The right reason is simply, because being a good person is the right thing to do, no matter what anyone else thinks.
Other false identities we get caught up in look like this: “I’m not good enough” – “I’m a failure.” – “I’m not loveable.” – “I’m a mess.” Sure, we all have issues in our lives we have to deal with, but to turn those into an “I AM” statement puts us in that veil of karma, keeps us fooling ourselves.
The point is that it all boils down to identity. Are we attached to a false sense of self that keeps us in the darkness of unawareness, or do we know ourselves to be powerful, divine beings who are fulfilling our purpose to be in service to Spirit, knowing and following the will of God?
Are we fooling ourselves, or not?