Have you noticed? You can’t force change. Whether it’s in yourself, in your life, or with others, true change cannot be forced. It can only be invited, and that invitation starts by changing your insides.
Until we learn this fundamental truth, most people try to coerce, cajole, control, and manipulate. Sometimes coercion can change the form of the thing we wish to alter, but shifting the form is not true and lasting transformation. Unless you get to the core issue, whatever it is will eventually return or come out in some other way. We know the definition of insanity: doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results. Attempting to force change falls into that category.
Example 1: There are those who try to change their experience in love relationships by leaving the one that isn’t working and going out to find another. “This person is different.” “It will be better this time.” Until you modify your insides, your outsides will stay the same. It might have a different face, but the result will eventually be the same.
Example 2: Have you ever tried to change or control someone else? Right. I rest my case.
Ignoring the problem rarely helps. This falls under the category of what you resist persists. Putting up with (tolerating) something that ought to be handled hoping it will eventually go away on its own is a form of denial. Sometimes we get lucky and change does happen, but most often denial just makes a big mess. That mess is meant to get our attention: time to grow.
Example 1: This one’s pretty obvious … health issues. They don’t go away just because you ignore then or pretend they’re not there. You have to shift your attention, your attitude, and your actions in order to impact the problem.
Example 2: When we hate what’s going on, we are resisting. Hating the illness is akin to ignoring it. It keeps us stuck in old patterns.
Albert Einstein is credited as having said: we cannot solve our problems with the same level of thinking that created them. In other words, in order to change your life, you have to change your mind.
Whether it’s a job you don’t like, a habit you can’t stop, a relationship problem that keeps repeating, or something else you want to to be different, you must seek new truth, new perspectives, and new tools that help you shift your consciousness, your insides. This invites true and lasting change.
Example 1: One inner exercise is to live the question. That means noticing everything you can about whatever it is you’re trying to change. Then live your life pondering the answers to such questions as, “What would it look like to change? Who would I be if that happened? What do I need to be, know, or do differently to make that come about? Who can help me with that?” Want a great quote about this? Click here for Live the Question.
Example 2: Change your focus. Instead of focusing on losing weight, learn to fall in love with being healthy and watch what happens. Notice I said learn. Energy follows intent. You get what you focus on.
Example 3: Seriously study spirituality. True spirituality changes consciousness, pulling you out of old levels of thinking.
Change takes practice, perseverance, determination, and patience. How will you invite change?