The Three A’s

Three things that can nurture, support, and/or transform any relationship – three things most of us need a more of – are Attention, Affection, and Appreciation. While always true in romantic relationships, the Three A’s can be helpful in any situation involving a fellow human being. In today’s fast-paced, chaotic, and ever-changing world, more Attention, […]

Word

If you could choose one word to represent your focus/wishes/goals for next year, what would it be? Borrowing this clever idea from one of my fabulous clients, I want to recommend an alternative to the traditional New Year’s Resolution. Consider that resolutions are about doing. Word is about being, about how you are living. What […]

Authority? Or Control?

I have some questions for you. Do you like to be controlled by other people, manipulated to do or say things you don’t want to do? Does it feel good when someone tries to force you into something that’s not right or welcomed, or bully you into doing things their way? Of course not. Bobby […]

Depth of Character

You’ve heard me talk about inner strength a lot over the years. This is because I see it as: the foundation for serenity, power and freedom, the source of feeling good about ourselves and getting along well with others the basis for having a solid sense of belonging and purpose in life.   With so […]

Back to Basics

August is that time of year when children are going back to school and we are heading into the activities of fall and winter. It is a good opportunity to regroup and make sure we’re paying attention to the things that support our inner peace. Here is a reminder of four important basics. Space We […]

Inviting Change

Have you noticed? You can’t force change. Whether it’s in yourself, in your life, or with others, true change cannot be forced. It can only be invited, and that invitation starts by changing your insides. Insanity Until we learn this fundamental truth, most people try to coerce, cajole, control, and manipulate. Sometimes coercion can change […]

It’s Personal

How often do your feelings get hurt by something someone says or does (even someone you don’t know)? In order to live in joy, we must stop taking things personally. It is easy to observe when we do it in our close relationships, but did you know that there are other times the issue shows […]

The Bodies

Continuing the conversation about fooling ourselves, it is important to remember: we are not our physical body, we are not our thinking, we are not our feelings. Sometimes we forget this. But to legitimately have serenity, power, and freedom in life, we must not only know this truth, we must live from it as well. […]

We Fool Ourselves

When we don’t know who we really are, we are identified with a false sense of self. That false identity filters our experiences, thoughts, actions, etc. and gives us inaccurate feedback. Because of this, we see things incorrectly – not as they are, but as we want them to be – because we need to […]

Miracle-Gro

  “Being in relationship is like putting Miracle-Gro on your character defects.” Great quote, isn’t it? I heard it many years ago and still find it to be Oh.. So.. True. And, I think there is a good reason for this. If we are meant to be the biggest and best we can be, if […]

Ice Cream Sundaes

You can’t have that ice cream sundae with whipped cream and a cherry on top if you don’t have a bowl to put it in. That’s pretty obvious. What’s not so obvious is that this is true on many, many levels. Experience shows that most people who win the lottery jackpot tend to lose all […]

Resolutions, or….

Ok, I’m going to be corny here. I’m going to suggest something a little silly – to make you think. We just started the New Year, and most people will have either made or avoided making resolutions. Usually, these are related to physical, external, or feel-good things, such as losing weight, staying organized, getting a […]

Taming The Beast

Wonder why you get so crazy sometimes? Overwhelmed, pissed off, hyped up, shut down, out of control? Emotionally reactive, self doubting, insecure, over-eating-drinking-spending-whatever? Guess what. It’s not your fault. But it IS your responsibility. We come into this lifetime with a consciousness that’s been programmed through countless experiences in a multitude of prior lives. That […]

The AID for ERRS

Are there things you do in excess? Have you tried to “quit” but haven’t managed to yet? Such as: overeating, over-drinking, overworking, over-doing. I see this a lot in my counseling practice, and I have some ways to help with this pattern of imbalance. One of the awareness tools I use is “The AID for […]

Destiny

One of the reasons we have such a strong yearning to search for life purpose is that deep inside we KNOW that there is an ultimate destiny for us, and that if we could find it we would be forever filled with joy. This destiny is closer than we realize. The problem is we keep […]

Destabilization

Do you have the experience of time flying, of having less time to do what there is to do? Have you felt a sense of unexplained anxiety or sadness recently? Are you experiencing unusual physical aches and pains, or heart palpitations? You’re not alone. I was talking to a colleague recently, discussing how different this […]

Forward or Backward

Abraham Maslov once said, “One can choose to go backward toward safety or forward toward growth. Growth must be chosen again and again; fear must be overcome again and again.” We are connected with a Higher Power that is itself moving forward, constantly growing and evolving. Because of that, our souls are moved forward as […]

A Path to Non-violence

Every time I look at the news, I see so much violence. On our streets, in our homes, across the globe. War, murder, rioting, and more. We live in very chaotic times, unfortunately. But if you ask around, most would agree that we all want the same thing: peace, brotherhood, love. Why, then, are we […]

Insatiable

There is a difference between emotional needs and spiritual (soul) needs. Sometimes they are aligned with each other, but more often than not, they are in conflict. Emotional needs are things like: comfort, security, peace, connection, approval, accomplishment Soul needs are things like: growth, self-expression, making a difference for others We are human beings, so […]

The Beauty of Discomfort

  I had to heed my own advice this week! Why was I surprised? Comfort-seeking is part of our animal nature. It’s a good thing because it keeps us motivated and moving forward. It becomes a not-good thing when we come to expect it, when we have the need to feel comfortable all the time. […]

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